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How have you managed thus far?  Have you gone insane?  More than likely your day has been getting filled up with someone talking to you about their fantasy football team, this needs to die in a fire.

While I play fantasy football myself, I don’t feel the need to talk to people outside of my league about the players I’m benching and what kicker I’m grabbing for my bye week.  This is an awkward conversation for the listener, we can tell you are passionate about your football team, but I’m passionate about the brand of low carb tortilla shells I eat as well and I know that quite frankly you don’t give a shit.  Just to humor you, here is a little of what this would sound like…

Walmart yesterday had a sale on the Mama Lupe low carb tortilla shells, they were going for $2.53 for a pack of 10 rather than the normal $3.13 for a pack of 10.  I bought 4 packages for a total of 40 tortilla shells.  Did you know that each shell is only 3 net carbs?  That means I could eat all 4 packages of tortilla shells and consume 120 net carbs…

I think you get the idea.

The thing that is most shocking is how this all got out of hand.   Lets take a trip back to where fantasy football came from, the birth place of Rich Gannon’s MVP; Oakland, California.

The year was 1962, Wilt Chamberlain was scoring triple digits, the United States traversed the Cuban missile crises, Spider Man was born, and the Beatles released their first single with “Love Me Do” and somewhere in a back room a bunch of sports insiders managed to come up with a scheme that was estimated at costing US employers $7.4 billion dollars a year.

These deviant sports editors cooked up what was called at the time the GOPPPL or Greater Oakland Professional Pigskin Prognosticators League — they devised stats for touchdowns, yardage, and tackles as well as making a trophy and taunting the loser of the league.  This secret society of Final Fantasy Football players continued to game on during the football seasons until 1969 when one of the players wanted to hold the draft at his sports bar that opened last year, inebriated sports loving individuals were exposed and the game spread to other bars and the rest they say is history.

Fantasy football isn’t kept to bars or private clubs anymore, it has almost become a season on to it’s own with the coverage it gets on CNN, ESPN, newspapers, magazines, radio, podcasts, and now it’s own television comedy.  With everyone talking about fantasy football it would appear that this is considered good conversation, but this is a mistake.  You can flip a page, change the station, or just not watch a terrible fucking comedy if you don’t want to hear about it, but you can’t tell someone to die in a fire without coming off sounding like a dick.

Do me a favor, don’t make me sound like a dick.

CB